If you’ve ever found yourself listing the desirable characteristics and looking for them in the
godly man you hope to attract, then you know how important characteristics are in your
relationship. Furthermore, if you have ever wondered (like I did) if you have the right
characteristics to attract a godly man, then you should read this blog over and over again.
The key to characteristics is to find out the ones that God wants you to focus on, not the
characteristics that the world suggests or that you think would make you the best wife or
the man the best husband. Go to God, ask Him. Bring your character list to God for scrutiny.
I guarantee that you will leave with an amended list because you don’t see or think about
life the way He does. Truth be told you don’t think about marriage the way God does, He
has to teach you to love what He loves and discard what He hates.
Just like you a man is constantly looking for admirable qualities in the woman he would like
to spend his life with.
Agree with me, he has sought the LORD and the LORD gave him these 3 characteristics to
look for in a godly woman. He has these on his list:
#1. Humility
#2. Be Loving
#3. Commitment
Let’s take a look at what these characteristics look like in operation.
Humility
The first characteristic is Humility. You know this word and maybe you think you are
humble. Or maybe you think humility is outdated and irrelevant?
What is humility?
It is a gift of the Holy Spirit- you need Him to walk in humility. It isn’t in your flesh to be
lowly even if you feel unworthy.
I define it as a settled place of immense power in God. There is no arrogance, pride or
haughtiness, no selfishness in you-you understand who you are in Christ and because of that
you are free to be you. You are comfortable wherever you find yourself.
You find humility in a mind that is transformed and renewed by the word of God-it drives
your thoughts, your attitude, your actions and your speech.
Humility is a letting go and stripping away of you and what you want and a putting on of
Christ and all that He is.
Christ is our greatest example of humility (Phil 2) reminds us that He humbled Himself, he
made himself of no reputation, he submitted Himself to purpose and in humility went to the
Cross and through this act of humility God the Father exalted Him with a name that is above
every other name.
As a single Christian woman, do you long to get married? Do you long to take that walk down the aisle? Waiting is never easy. Rest assured, Your time will come! Grab this FREE Prayer Journal while you wait for God’s timing!
Signs of Humility
Phillipians 2: 3: Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife,
selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in
the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better
than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of
yourselves].
Here are a few signs:
- You freely express gratitude
- You are never afraid to say I’m sorry
- You are never above learning
- You do nothing for show or recognition.
- You pursue peace
- You can admit your mistake
- No self-promotion
- Prayer is a way of life
- You patiently wait on God’s timing
- You are not afraid to celebrate others because you know you too have value
Hear what the man is saying to you:
Here’s what a Christian brother shared with me. Listen.
Oftentimes as a woman you act like my conscience- you think you need to correct me in
secret and in public.
You point out my failures or shortcomings constantly.
You don’t always have to be right.
You don’t to have the last say- I will give you the last say when you have earned my trust
and my respect.
Yes, I am strong and most days I am but sometimes I need your validation and your
encouragement to be all I am called to be in Christ but some days are hard and I need to be
able to tell you that and have you cover me with words of affirmation instead of criticism
and doubt as to whether or not I’m a good investment of your time.
Because you see through me and see my weaknesses-you don’t need to give up on me so
quickly.
Instead, pray me through- you, me and the Holy Spirit can become an unbreakable cord as
we both in humility go to the only God who can lead us into triumph no matter the difficulty
we find ourselves in.
Ladies, are you listening? Did you hear?
This blew my mind. This is what humility looks like to him. What about you?
Be Loving
The second characteristic is being loving. I am not talking about him making advances to get
you into compromise.
I’m not talking about being overly physical.
Ladies, I’m talking about becoming love. I’m talking about not being afraid to bring joy to
someone else.
I’m referring to that ability to just love someone with God’s love. Love with a free and open
heart.
Can you do that? It means being open and vulnerable and transparent.
So, Stop hiding behind a hard heart.
Stop hiding behind fear.
Stop chiding the man.
Stop being rough around the edges.
Stop being harsh.
Stop cutting him down with sarcasm and bad attitude.
Instead,
Let the real you come out. The woman who wants to love deeply and get deep love in
return.
Let her out.
It is time to be you.
To be loving means to be warm, to be kind, to be affectionate, to be tender and to be
sensitive.
It’s another characteristic that of yourself you would be unable to execute because you may
often feel you need love too. As a matter of fact, you need love more than he does. But love
is patient and is kind. Love isn’t selfish nor is it self-seeking. It doesn’t boast. Love isn’t rude.
Go read 1 Corinthians 13. Go learn about real humility and what love in action looks like.
As a single Christian woman, do you long to get married? Do you long to take that walk down the aisle? Waiting is never easy. Rest assured, Your time will come! Grab this FREE Prayer Journal while you wait for God’s timing!
Hear what the man is saying to you,
I am worn out from trying to get past your cold heart and your impatient words.
I long for warmth-I’m not looking for sex I’m looking for connection.
I’m warm and my heart is open but sometimes I hit a brick wall of doubt that I cannot
penetrate.
Women, you are wise you often can easily see the men who are fake but sometimes you get
it wrong.
I want a woman who is loving because I know you will understand my struggles even as I
seek to overcome them and earn your love and respect.
Being loving is an irreplaceable quality in the woman I am looking for. God told me to look
for it and I do.
Ladies, are you listening? Did you hear? Do you need to change anything? Look in your
heart, you will know.
Commitment
The third characteristic a man looks for in a Godly woman is commitment.
What is commitment?
It means an obligation to do something or keep a course of action.
Commitment is for the long haul-the long run. Commitment will cause you to stick around
when what you see doesn’t fully line up with what God promised you BUT you know God is
at work. (Know I am not talking about abuse or living a lie).
Commitment keeps your feet steady, and your lips closed when you are on the verge of
can’t be bothered with this.
Commitment means dedication to what you said yes to.
When you understand commitment, and what it requires of you, you understand
selflessness.
Commitment will help you to hold on when life gets hard, and you want to run away and
hide BUT remaining committed will build character and trustworthiness in you.
Being committed makes you reliable- remember Job? In Job Chapter 1 we read:
And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him
on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?”
Why?
Because God knew Job would remain loyal no matter what happened to Him.
Can the same be said of you?
Luke 9:62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for
service in the kingdom of God.”
Even in your relationships -you are in the service of God; will you committed to the task?
Commitment is key in building your relationship not just with people but with God. He
brought you into relationship with Him and He is committed to you, are you to Him, even
when you don’t get your way?
Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this.
Your way- this can be you promising God that you will work on certain areas of your life no
matter what. For e.g.
I will be more patient, I will be more loving, I will speak words of life so that I can see change
in my circumstances instead of words of doubt and frustration.
The 2 nd part of the verse tests your commitment to what you’ve promised:
Will you wait on God to help you walk in the change you desire to see in your life?
Or will u get impatient and forget your commitment to God, yourself and to the process?
Think about that.
Let’s look at the opposite of Commitment. When you are not committed you find:
- disloyalty
- faithlessness
- falsehood
- treachery
- unfaithfulness
Who would you rather be committed or disloyal?
As a single Christian woman, do you long to get married? Do you long to take that walk down the aisle? Waiting is never easy. Rest assured, Your time will come! Grab this FREE Prayer Journal while you wait for God’s timing!
Here is what the man looking for a godly woman is saying:
I’m looking for a woman who will have faith in me.
A woman who will believe in our relationship and build it with me brick by brick-experience
by experience, day by day whether we have plenty or we have a little.
A woman who will not pretend-who will be real so that we can build our relationship on
truth and honesty.
A woman who will be loyal and not throw me under the bus at the first sign
of conflict or misunderstanding.
A woman who will be committed to seek God endlessly to prove whether or not I am the
man He has in mind for her.
A woman who doesn’t just say she’s committed but acts it out daily-
She’s:
- Willing to work as a team
- Willing to trust my way sometimes
- Willing to speak good over my life and our future
- Willing to work through areas of difference of opinions
- Willing to dream with me as we create the life we want to live together someday
- Willing to accept me with my shortcomings but not blinded by the need to change me
- Willing to let God have His way in my life every day as I grow into being the priest of our future home
I don’t want a woman who is not committed to the process of getting to know me and how I
want to live and build a life that honours God.
Did you hear this man’s heart?
Let me ask you: Is there any area that you need improvement in? Or maybe a specific
characteristic that you need to cultivate from scratch?
Wherever you find yourself today, be reminded that these 3 characteristics can be found in
your relationship with your Heavenly Father.
You need these 3 characteristics for your relationship with your God to grow and deepen. As
a matter of fact, these 3 characteristics sweetens your relationship with Him. You go before
Him in humility, you love upon Him-you call him faithful and true, lover of your soul and you
remind Him that you are committed to Him through your daily actions that prove your
commitment to Him.
I challenge you to start thinking about the ways in which you can translate the things you do
in your relationship with God into your relationship with your partner who will be God’s
chosen head of your home (that’s another blog).
In the meantime, here are 3 characteristics you need to grow in as you prepare for love:
1. Humility
2. Be Loving
3. Commitment
Be intentional. Be prepared. Grow.