If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking-I thought the relationship was going so well; what happened?
If that’s you-you’ve come to the right place as we will cover 3 things single Christian women do that causes good men to leave them and what to do about IT.
Relationship Baggage
The first reason is unresolved issues from previous relationships in other words BAGGAGE.
Do you notice any negative patterns in your relationships?
Many women (and yes men) have unresolved issues from previous relationships but unless you choose to deal with them in a realistic way they become baggage that you take into your next relationship and the next relationship and because they are baggage they show up everywhere.
Do you feel weighed down by insecurities and fears?
What ifs?
Your mind constantly going? You expect the worse to happen and often you get it.
Maybe these unresolved issues show up for you as:
- lack of trust
- cynicism
- doubt
- jealousy
Maybe you believe that you will never find a man who is trustworthy because your trust was broken in the past.
So, any sign no matter how insignificant acts as a trigger and brings back memories when your trust was broken.
You cannot see beyond this-nothing in reality can convince you quickly that your trust isn’t being violated. What should you do? Break the cycle.
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Break The Cycle
Key to breaking the Cycle?
You must work through the negative emotions that come with the baggage and let go. Be more alert.
Letting go is a choice- so when you do that feel the weight lift…did you feel that?
Let joy in-both you and your partner will benefit from this. Your relationship now has a chance to thrive.
Real Love is Missing
For the second reason- let me tell you a story.
I asked a Christian man why he broke up with his last girlfriend.
Here’s what he said-
“Sometimes these women never experienced love so it is hard for them to give love.”
I asked, “what do you mean?”
His response- “sometimes they are rough. They aren’t gentle. They seem to be angry all the time. They criticise and get impatient. If I do something to offend or hurt her, she never forgets no matter how I apologise. She gets puffed up for the simplest things-even simple disagreements e.g. where to park.”
He shared that he often thinks she is 2 different persons because she is so loving and patient with others but once alone-he feels attacked and unloved. He often gets none of the love and understanding she so freely gives to others, even strangers. He said he often long for the same kind of understanding and attention she gives away so freely but not to him.
Ladies, He shared more but I will stop there. You get the picture.
Can you see yourself in his description of Christian women he encountered?
Let’s be clear this isn’t about condemnation-this is about self-reflection.
And I know there are 2 sides to every story and there is so much more we can unpack, and we will but today I want you to think about it.
Let me ask you this
Do you know how to love?
You know what 1 Cor 13 says right? Love is patient and is kind, it isn’t rude, it keeps no record, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked-go read the Chapter.
Ladies, I know You know love-you encountered love in Jesus
But if there’s any truth to this man’s story, stop a moment and look inside yourself.
Maybe, after looking you discover it is time to start practicing the love you know.
Real love.
Grab this Journal for FREE to help you transform your mind in GOD’s Way.
Attitude and Tone
For the third reason, let’s look at attitude and tone.
What’s attitude?
Attitude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about something.
It is settled nothing can change your mind. It is how you feel about a certain situation and that’s that.
It is what you think about the situation and nothing can change your mind about how you see it and how you have experienced it.
Ladies, your attitude toward an issue or a person often comes out in the way you:
- Speak about them
- Speak to them
- Actions toward them
For men RESPECT is very important.
You know, women love to be cherished and cuddled, right?
Men live for respect. For him love is respect.
Ephesians 5: 33 says,
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Why?
Men thrive on respect.
Respect for his ideas, his work, his ability to provide, his achievements, the way he expresses himself.
Good men leave when Christian women do not respect them. Christian women speak down
to them and dishonour them at the drop of a hat.
If you feel unloved-still show respect. Still honour. Still support and appreciate him
You may say respect must be earned but where is that written?
Having been created in God’s image and likeness, show some respect. The rewards for that are beyond your wildest imaginations.
Cultivate respect in your courting and make it a habit in your marriage. It will strengthen and keep your marriage healthy.
Find ways to express your respect.
I respect you for your dedication to your job and your colleagues.
I respect you and your plans as we build our future together.
Without respect, a man will always feel that the relationship may not be worth his time or his effort.
Are you willing to respect a man who isn’t perfect and may do or say something insensitive?
Will you respect how he can provide for you and your future?
Will you respect his views?
Will you respect his desire to protect you and care for you?
Not as you have prescribed but in the best way he knows how?
If you are then it is time to check your attitude and your tone.
Remember for men, Love equals Respect.