If you’ve ever prepared for a date, I know you kept wondering- what questions to ask, but not only that, you’ve wondered what are some good questions to ask to get the information that you really need.
Today, I’m going to give you 5 questions you should ask Your Date to Determine If He’s A Good Fit From Day 1 or Date 1.
I know when you are preparing for a date- you’re nervous. Yes, you’re excited but you’re also a little bit anxious- could this be the one? Will I make a good impression? Will the date be over the top, good? Or let me run for the hills, bad?
More than anything you want to ensure that you aren’t wasting your time after all, your time is valuable. What’s more, you’re at the age where you are tired of the games and the ghosting, jeez.
You know what you need.
You need to have a game plan filled with questions to help you decide if a Date 2 is a must or not.
These 5 questions, which you will naturally weave into your conversation will help you to ‘cut to the chase’. These 5 questions will help you get to what’s important to you, which is, determining if this is someone you want to spend time with and get to know more deeply.
So, are you ready?
Question # 1
What’s your relationship with God like?
Too bold? I don’t think so.
A lot of people talk about God but don’t really have a relationship with Him. Their relationship is very superficial.
It’s not a relationship where God can really impact their life because He is only allowed on the outskirts. God’s ways and thoughts aren’t allowed to go deep enough to impact and their actions, thoughts, attitude or desires.
God comes swiftly off the tongue but is far from the heart and that’s where He needs to be to truly impact a life.
You want to ensure that the man who comes into your life has a real relationship with God not a superficial or an imagined one.
It must not be a relationship he plans to get around to having but a relationship he has now that’s flourishing and growing deeply, daily.
Is he living Luke 10: 27?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbour as yourself.
Some things to listen for as he speaks:
- I’ve learnt to trust God…
- I know God loves me because…
- God has been faithful blah blah blah
- Prayer is key to…
Add as many as you’d like to this list and then…Listen, you’ll hear.
A person’s love for God must show itself in love for people.
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Question # 2
Is there a favourite scripture that you’ve held onto over the years?
or do you have new scriptures daily or a new one for the week?
Ok, ok so it’s 3 questions wrapped up in one. Bottomline-You want to know if he reads his Bible and if he can apply it to his current circumstances or situation.
If he answers in the affirmative you then you get to ask why he likes that particular scripture, why he’s held on to it and how it has helped him in the past or this week or even today.
Remember, The WORD grounds us- that’s where we find answers, we find hope and that’s one of the ways we connect deeply with our Father.
Your date’s response will tell you if he reads the Bible regularly and if he allows it to guide his plans and path daily.
Isn’t that the kind of man you want in your life?
Is he this kind of a man? One who says and is governed by scriptures like this?:
I shall delight in Your commandments, Which I love. And I shall lift up my hands to Your commandments, Which I love; And I will meditate on Your statutes(Psalm 119:47-48).
You get to decide.
Question #3
What are you looking for in a partner?
Oftentimes it will be what he already sees in himself and traits that he thinks will be compatible with his traits.
His needs will also be on display so keep watch.
Characteristics like active, outgoing or homebody, trustworthy, good listener, thoughtful, loving, prayerful, encourager, supporter, wise, humble may come up. Are you these things?
Issues that speak to compatibility (whether it’s spiritually, emotionally etc.) may also come out-listen.
When it comes to this question always listen keenly but bear in mind the characteristics you are looking for not based on society’s dictates or the newest fad or feel good philosophy but based on what God has said. Based on
the characteristics He’s told you to look for and pray about.
Hopefully, your date will be on the same page as you and what he is looking for in a partner line up with what God told him is important!
His response will help you to decide if you are the right fit from Day 1. You can think about whether you can or if you want to fulfil the needs he may have- to be heard, to be loved, to be encouraged, to be validated and to be respected by the woman he describes.
Proverbs 31:30 (ESV) reminds, charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Nothing is as important as the fear of the Lord-nothing comes close to highly esteeming Him. Not. One. Thing comes close to reverence and honour for God.
When you do so, you earn God’s praise. Nothing can beat that! Of all the characteristics in the world to have-the fear of the Lord is the greatest one to have.
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Question #4
What are your goals for the next 3 years?
This question will allow you to discover if this man takes life seriously or not. But first, is goal setting important to you? Do you set goals and pursue them?
Setting goals give you something to work toward. It also gives a pretty clear picture of what you consider important.
What are his goals like?
Does his goals include:
- Starting a family?
- Saving for retirement?
- Buying a home?
- Travelling?
- Growing spriritually?
- Going back to school?
- Giving to Kingdom work?
These questions will give you a good picture of whether your goals for the future are aligned with his.
Note that while it is good to plan and set goals you are also fully aware that goals and plans must be tweaked as you also align them with God’s plans.
Hear Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
So, you can both set your goals but you must be prepared to tweak your goals as often as you need to.
Question #5
What do you do for fun?
Ladies it cannot be seriousness all day every day.
Laughter makes the heart merry so says Proverbs 17:22 -A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.
It’s important to take time to laugh and enjoy God’s creation. It is important to take time out and enjoy life.
He should be able to tell you what he did last weekend at the very least.
You’ll get some insight into whether or not he has a funny bone or a fun side.
Here, you can find out whether he loves the outdoors or if he prefers to hang out inside.
Whether he loves to cook or prefers takeout.
Ladies, you don’t want a life of boredom- so even if his idea of fun is different from yours it will be good to know what he considers FUN and you can decide if you want to get aligned.
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As Kingdom women you want to participate in your life and as you walk with God to discover His specific purpose and His plan for you when it comes to relationships, I hope you will put these 5 questions into your question bank.
So don’t be afraid to ask these questions as you search for your good fit from Day 1 or better yet from Date 1.
Here’s a reminder of the 5 questions you should ask your date to determine if he’s a good fit:
1. What’s your relationship with God like?
2. Is there a favourite scripture that you’ve held on to over the years or do you have new scriptures daily or
for the week?
3. What are you looking for in a partner?
4. What are your goals for the next 3 years?
5. What do you do for fun?
Add as many more questions as you choose as you dig deeper to get to know the man sitting at the table across from you.
Be bold.
Have no regrets-Ask.
Then listen to the answers-how else will you know if you’ve found him whom your soul loves? Songs of Solomon 3:4.